Work can be taxing for everyone and we all occasionally feel drained after a long day at the office or workplace. But if you value what you do, are valued in what you do, bounce out of bed excited and thriving, and are trying to recruit your friends to work there, then DON’T QUIT YOUR JOB!


However according to Gallup Poll, you might be like 71% of the employed who are feeling disengaged at work. Or you might be like 87% and not enjoy what you do, or feel it doesn’t pay enough money. In fact, if you think your job is just about money...

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Most of us will find there are people in our lives who just won’t agree with us, no matter how compelling, desirable or practical our argument is. We’ll give you some tips around how to engage with these people which will help with your influence.
 
Sometimes, you meet someone for the first time and you feel like you have known them for forever. Something just clicks! However when people are unable to create rapport with each other, then communication halts or will have little effect.


Those with a ‘sameness’ Meta-Program will easily build rapport with another person as they sort for similarities in attitudes, values, beliefs and behaviours. While those with a ‘difference’ may find it difficult to build rapport as they think about and express what is different between them.
 
Matchers will look for what they themselves and others do right. They will support and encourage others towards achieving. While mismatchers will point out what you have not done right and what you have yet to achieve. A mismatcher may express the attitude that nothing the other person does is ever good enough and therefore it will be hard for them to establish a connection.

Interestingly though, when we feel we don’t get heard, we focus on the difficult person instead of turning inward to review, reflect and grow ourselves to gain better outcomes or become more effective communicators. If you’re not up for self-reflection and gaining insight, warning, don’t read any further!

New article coming soon:
Warning: Don't Quit your Job

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1. Communication sets the tone  

Positive transitions require positive language. It is important that leaders frame the context of change in an optimistic tone. Leaders need to stay positive, focused and confident throughout the process of organisational change. 

Clear communication across the organisation will help everyone understand the changes that need to be made. You must communicate why the changes need to be made, and how any changes will be implemented. At Newberry Paterson, we use a tool called CPQQRT. It doesn’t roll off the tongue, but it does provide clarity in your communication and prepares your team for what they need to do. This tool provides context (the why), purpose (the outcome) and sets parameters (the how). This tool helps you set your people and your business on the path to success.


2. Communication helps to engage stakeholders

Collaboration is key. Identify the key stakeholders in your organisation who will provide the greatest influence and support of the change. Within any organisation there are certain individuals who are particularly influential. They are change-makers and ‘cultural ambassadors’. Getting them to advocate and support the change process is critical to success. 

A positive culture can boost productivity and profitability. It is really important to get engagement early in the process. Ask for ideas and concerns - and ask across every level of the organisation. Invite a dialogue. 

Advocates of change will help you move forward. However, the key to successful change is the way you communicate, not only with the enthusiastic supporters, but also with those who are more inclined to resist change. 

Identifying the detractors or what we call the ‘cultural-terrorists’ and engage with them. This will bolster the success rate of any change. An influential leader realises that in the most part people are well intended and those that resist are seeing the risks presented by the change. Edward de Bono ‘black hat thinking’ is useful to use in the process to ensure caution is applied and to look for what may have been missed. The black hat identifies risk. It is used for critical judgement. It is one of the most powerful hats in the six. Look out for the black hat thinkers, the people that naturally go to why something can’t be done. Engage these people in the process. They will become your biggest advocates for change.


3. Communication helps you manage relationships

Checking in with your team in a consistent manner can help you to keep your team engaged with the process. A foundational principle of change is building trust. Communicating regular updates and checking in with your team will help you build that trust. If you are managing the relationship well, it will be more likely that your team members will be on board with changes. 

Understanding your business’s capacity for change is important. Try and understand individual capabilities and frame your changes with these parameters in mind. Your goals need to be realistic. 

Additionally, don’t overlook change fatigue. Too many changes at once can overwhelm and exhaust your employees. Ask for feedback. It is critical that you monitor any potential fatigue within your business. Change for change sake diminishes the impact and the value of important changes, and will disengage your team.


4. Communication facilitates deeper alignment with your team

Foster close and growing relationships with your team. Ask about their ‘why.’ What makes them want to contribute? Why are they here? Why is their work important to them? Perhaps you’ll get a glimpse of what motivates them - and it may reconnect them with their own sense of purpose. 

Don’t leave these sorts of questions until performance management reviews. Make them part of an ongoing discussion. We have seen this work extremely well at planning day sessions that then evolve into success walls, which in turn provide an added benefit of a collective ‘why’ for the team. This is powerful stuff as it unifies your team. Let your team members know that you want to help them achieve their goals. It’s about people. If their goals are aligned with the vision of your organisation, you’ll be bound for success. 

Set goals and objectives together - good communication at this stage can create a healthy relationship between a leader and their team members. Remind your team that they will be accountable for reaching their goals. More importantly, assure them that you will equip them with the authority and tools required to succeed. 


5. Communication helps you celebrate achievements

Make changes that are easy to action. Break larger tasks into smaller tasks to improve the chances of implementation. Measure success at each stage. This builds a high performing culture.

Setting specific, measurable, achievable targets can build momentum within a business. These wins can generate positivity and create a flow-on effect of success after success. Share these achievements across the organisation. Recognise specific and individual achievements - talk about them whenever you can. Congratulate team members for victories. Even better, get team members to congratulate each other, and call out the positive results of their workmates.

Reaching a milestone feels good. Make sure you take time to celebrate success with your team.

Keep talking

In a marketplace filled with uncertainty, and with ever-increasing rates of innovation and competition, you need to set measurable targets for your organisation to rise up to the challenges you are facing. 

Your communication process can make all the difference. If you want to create meaningful changes in your business, keep talking to your team (your advocates and your critics). Don’t close the dialogue down. Remember -  ‘it’s about people’.


#humanresources #hr #communication #keeptalking #careercoaching #techniques #support #businessmanagement #people #performancemanagement #professionalservices #professionaldevelopment #businesscoach #employeemanagement #howtomanagepeople #howtoleadpeople #organisationalchange #newberrypaterson

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Firstly, I’d like to say a bold statement: ‘The power of our communication sits with us.’  What I mean by this is that we, no-one else, operate our minds and bodies, and therefore we create our own individual views of the world and how we respond to it.


But it’s so much harder to take accountability for our communication so we dump all of this responsibility over at the feet of the other person. This is to do with self-preservation and what social psychologist Fritz Heider refers to as ‘self-serving bias’. The self-serving bias is defined as people's tendency to attribute positive events to their own character but attribute negative events to external factors.

So in the example above, when we don’t get heard, instead of looking at ourselves we look at where we can place the blame on the other person. This is so we can maintain our self-esteem or distort our perception in a favourable manner towards ourselves.


How we see the world is determined by our unconscious filters. We do this by internal representation (within our mind) and this directs our behaviour. It is based on many things and has accumulated over time, through the experiences we have had since early childhood. In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) terms, these are perceptual filters and are called Meta-Programs. People use these filters to sort and make sense of the world. Meta-Programs are on auto-pilot. Throughout your life the same way of thinking has been repeated over and over again, that eventually it became comfortable and solidified as a state or way of responding. You are probably not even aware that you choose to respond the way you do and it doesn’t just apply to our behaviours, it also applies to our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes. One Meta-Program is matching or mismatching. Matching for sameness and how things relate, or mismatching for difference and how things don’t relate.​


The Matcher:

  • Tends to initially agree with what you are saying and communication is cohesive
  • Stays on topic, doesn’t direct or redirect the conversation
  • Finds similarities in their situation and experiences to yours
  • Looks for sameness, has a tendance to agree or want to share, to show that they have empathy
  • Tends to be agreeable and not rock the boat​


What are the reasons for this? In part it may have to do with their desire to be liked and respected by people. It could have developed through the accumulation of their cultural capital; education, social or physical appearance, or something they learned from their youth or family life. It may even be influenced the wider community culture. It all relates to how they’ve trained their brain to work.


The Mismatcher:


  • Finds (indeed, looks for) ways in which your argument is flawed
  • Responds with an exception to the rule and uses ambiguity
  • Responds to you by saying “Well, actually….”
  • Bounces from topic to topic
  • Seems to want accuracy and detail
  • Uses opportunities to show how smart they are

Depending on their personality and level of people skills, mismatchers may vary from being interesting to annoying. There is a lot to be gained when a mismatcher sees the differences first and then builds commonality. More self-aware or mature people know when finding fault is helpful and when it is useless or damaging.  


Working with Mismatchers

  1. Get them to wear the black hat – see the problems and why it won’t work – and use them as fault-finders. Looking for gaps or inaccuracies is at (or near) the top of the list for mismatchers, so use their skill to gain value to your projects.
  2. Bring them in at the end of a brain storming activity and ask them to point out any areas of improvement.
  3. For extreme mismatchers, try using reverse psychology. Tell them to do the exact opposite of what you want them to do.  Phrase your requests and ideas in the negative. 


Try using these phrases before suggesting anything:

“You are probably not going to like this…”
“You are probably not going to agree with this..”
“I had an idea that probably won’t work, but I wanted to see what you thought…”
“I don’t know if this is something you’d like to be involved in…”​


Remember, the term matcher and mismatcher is a Meta-Program used to help us understand how we see the world. While we can gain understanding and ultimately communicate more effectively, it is not to be used as a label to slander someone with. Importantly, both matchers and mismatchers add value. Being able to identify the difference will improve your relationships and help to manage interactions with difficult people.


So remember…
Matching = Sameness

Mismatching = Difference

The relationship filter of sameness and difference is only one of many of the Meta-Programs. Being aware of the Meta-Programs yourself and others use will increase the effectiveness of your communication and empower you to build connections. So ask yourself, “Do I first see the differences or the similarities?”

#humanresources #hr #communication #matchers #mismatchers #nlp #differences #similarities #keeptalking #careercoaching #techniques #support #businessmanagement #people #performancemanagement #professionalservices #professionaldevelopment #businesscoach #employeemanagement #howtomanagepeople #howtoleadpeople #organisationalchange #newberrypaterson

How to Work with Difficult People
​22/09/2020, 8:16PM

Newberry Paterson

How to Manage Your Team Through Organisational Change
10/08/2020, 8:35PM

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5 reasons why communication is at the core of all successful transitions


When moving your business through change, clear communication is everything. It is essential to the ongoing success of your business that you communicate well with your customer. Equally, communication with your team must be clear, consistent and confident. 
 
Now, more than ever, your team needs you to manage and communicate effectively. Whether you are moving through a planned restructure, rapidly transitioning to working from home, or your business has been forced to ‘pivot’ in an ever-changing marketplace, there are simple ways to ensure that you can lead your team to success. 

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